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Post by CARMELLA HEART on Dec 31, 2009 13:54:35 GMT -6
can you F E E L me now?
can you S E E me now? Lights, hoots, chattering, and poles. This is what her life consisted of now, but before, it wasn't much better. Carmella refused to dwell back into the days when she was a raging coke head, stripping for another rent's pay with the double of a big ol' bag of angel dust in hand. She was different now, clean and clear minded, with a determination to become something greater than she was.
Okay, so she was still stripping, tossing her hair around like a panic stricken horse and swinging around a metal pole as if it was her only lover. The music thudding through her stilettos, reminding her to move with the beat and keep going unless she wanted to lower her tips. Las Vegas was fantastic for their high-end strip clubs, and the men here weren't cheap. She made around three thousand a night that she worked, and that's not even being a tall tale liar. Carmella was actually the one in the club that made the least amount for tips, the other girls were like diamonds, while she was still just a small gold coin.
Her curves were elegant in the hard lighting, which flickered about and touched her skin for split seconds. Her body swaying against the cold pole, her movements fit for a aerobatic in the circus. Twisting and manipulating her body to glide down and erotically climb up the stiff metal. Her blond hair whipping along with her like a tail, piercings glinting in the flicks of lighting. Luckily, for Carmella, tattoos and piercings were more than welcome here, as long as you weren't a total freak. Guess that was a huge turn on for the horny men that waltz in here. She had been used as a VIP girl far too many times for her to be able to deny that fact, and lap dances always seemed to be more active then her old ones. It could have been because she was a revamped version of her old self.
Cosmetic surgery, not her favorite thing in the book, but it made herself new. She pretty much did everything she could with the savings she had, and old photographs were like staring at a disfigured reflection. Colored contacts even made her eyes different, Carmella was no more, Isis was in play. Isis. . the stripper name she had given herself, which most girls at the club had an alias similar. Fantasy, dream, star, rainbow, delicacy, ecstasy. . . but Carmella chose to use the name of n Egyptian goddess. Power but sexuality all bundled up as one. She needed to feel powerful in some sense, because the girl's here were vicious competitors in the game of seducing. Stealing each others main customers, and thus taking their tips. Carmella, or Isis, never did such things to the other girls unless they went after her main customers, the men that came in repeatedly just to see her. She has the collection of droolers, and her biggest assumption was because of her lap dances that everyone whispered about. Having breast enhancement really paid off here, once only a C, she was now a D 32.
Spearmint Rhino was a topless club, which meant no tops for the girls. She usually didn't have a tiny little string bikini covering her breasts, but from the beginning of the shift, she'd always have one on. Over the span of a few dances and walk arounds, she'd tear it off. . . that's when she got the majority of her tips. Her fine hair was long enough to cover her chest if she wanted, which she would often tease the men to keep them on their toes by doing so. It was all a simple game, because men were simple creatures. Wasn't difficult to make them fantasize about you. Then again. . not all men were like that. Carmella never thought about. . him. . during her time out of her home. When she was home, though, that was a much different told story.
Shaking off her occurring thoughts, the ones that could make her break down on to her knees in mere seconds, she twirled around the pole, doing so with the a single hand grasping it. Her back met up against it, spine screaming from the sudden quivering ice temperature. Her hands were lifted above her head, both meeting up on the pole as she slowly wiggled her way down to a near kneeling position. Her eyes softly touching her spectators before she let go of her hold, getting on her hands and knees and crawling towards them with feline grace. Their money met the straps of her top or the sides of her skimpy bottom, occasionally, she took them from their fingers by using her teeth or own hands, getting close and personal with promising future favorites. This was the life of Vegas, and she was much too comfortable with it.
M U S I C|| Family Force 5 O U T F I T|| click! N O T E S|| Nahh.
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Post by ASHTON HECOX on Dec 31, 2009 15:31:33 GMT -6
>>ALONE AT LAST, WE CAN SIT AND FIGHT<< Ashton's eyes lingered on the club again, of course he'd come back, of all the other clubs, this one was the best, so far anyway; you never quite knew in Vegas, from what he'd seen. Making a quick walk over to the club, he paid again. Before making his way inside his eyes caught onto a sign, apparently it was only free to get in the place if he ordered a limo – where would Ashton get one of those? Yeah, exactly. He was eventually pushed in by some impatient biker-look-a-likes, with the full gear on, handlebar moustaches and everything. He blinked as one grunted at him to move out of the way, muttering something about gays being in the way of everything.
Ashton immediately obeyed, out of instinct really, seeing as they looked kinda intimidating, although each one must have been over sixty. His eyes didn't stay on the group for more than a couple of seconds before heading to the bar, that Jack Daniels he'd had was pretty good, if he wasn't such a light weight he'd have stayed there longer, on his own at the bar with a bottle of Jack Daniels. He kept telling himself, he was in Vegas now, so he could chill out more; if only, all he worried about these days was whether he had enough money to go anywhere, it was pitiful really. He always had to worry about something, and if there was nothing to worry about he'd worry about that aswell.
He glanced around at the stage area, seeing a blonde on the pole. An audible sigh escaped his lips, he was reminded of Pandora's Girls, the last real strip club he'd been to, without Chance anyway. A couple of fingers stroked a couple of strands of his hair from his eyes. All those years ago seemed like dim memories now, he could remember some, but it was like an old movie, all blurry and in sepia. He watched the blonde idly, mostly looking back into his memories, she was something to give his eyes something to watch.
He came out of his self induced coma after staring at one place through all of it. His eyes wandering over to the bar again and he sat down on one of the empty seats, there weren't many, but this place was always crowded, so he'd better take a seat now or stand around like a lemon later. He ordered the usual, a glass of Jack Daniels, he could have sworn his undying love for Jack Daniel, whoever he was, for making such a great drink. After a couple of sips of the amber coloured liquid he began to relax slightly, turning around on his bar stool to watch pole dancing.
He smiled at the slight memory, when C... His eyes dropped to his glass, what was her name? He knew it began with C, that's about it. Anyway, when he'd gotten the easiest boner ever, over thoughts of her. He knew she had blonde hair, like the girl pole dancing over there, blue eyes? He wasn't quite sure, although he did know he loved her, those feelings for her were buried now, she had her life and he had his. He blinked a couple of times to rid the thoughts, returning his gaze to eye up the different strippers making their way past, he could watch them all night, and no, it wasn't considered cheating; in his opinion anyway. Word count//: 578 Outfit//: HereComments//: It's small D=[/size]
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Post by CARMELLA HEART on Dec 31, 2009 16:25:35 GMT -6
Her body curled around the pole, the bills dangling from her tiny fabric that attempted to cover her smooth body. She was more than overjoyed that she had gotten the cosmetic surgery, all her scars had been lifted and her skin looked fresh and unscathed. She was fresh, new, and reinvented, only memories could scar her fragile form now. Sad thing is, she couldn't even remember half of them because she was flying high all her past days. It was almost like she hadn't existed for the prime of her young life, and was only starting to now. Then again, dancing on a pole and exposing her body for cash wasn't really living life, but it was perfect for easy rent's pay.
Her contact covered eyes skimmed the area as she did her fancy tricks, trying to scope out a promising lap dancing wanting man. Those ones were usually found cowering in the plush seats, just eying every piece of juicy flesh that strutted by, but it seemed that the majority of those types were busy with a girl already. Difference between pandora's and spearmint was the amount of girls on shift. There was at least twenty five walking around, and that was the minimum amount. Yeah, Spearmint Rhino was famous for their dolls and the amount of people that could be shoved in here.
Carmella's eyes froze over a particular male, though, her movements slowing more so than needed as she focused through the unbearable lighting. 'Stupid fucking lights, can't see the face' she didn't want to squint, because she knew that would cause the men she had hooked to become un-attracted and leave. Spinning, she was forced to turn her back on the dark figure so she could perform what is called the 'Eye Opener'. Now, if you you know what the word 'eye' means in some other languages, you would catch the drift. It was a mildly difficult move, but it was always a favorite of most men.
Pulling herself up the pole, she nearly reached the top, within seconds, she was leaning back with her arms straight out, gripping her only support. Her legs stuck straight out the opposite end, thighs pressing tightly against the cool metal. Her right hand left the pole, only for a second, then tucked under her and took hold of the pole once more. This is when she let her legs part and make a dissected version of a V shape. She held it for a moment, held tilted back, chest poking out and up, while her light weighted form hung there in the display of what some would say was body art. Closing up her legs, she molded up against the vertical form and twirled down. Her eyes only tugged over back to where she had seen that figure beforehand.
At the bar, she caught him, glancing and studying at the other girls that moved past, doing their own thing. Carmella continued to play her tricks, but she just couldn't grasp the picture in her mind she was scrambling for. She knew him, she had to have known him. He was for sure not a regular, and he didn't look like the typical type to come in. Who the hell was he? Fuck, she had it at the tip of her tongue, if only she could get a closer glimpse of him, it was too far and the lighting wasn't well enough for her eyes to identify.
She wasn't going to ignore the gut wrenching knowing to bother her anymore. As if on cue, the music began to do it's transition to a new song, and she searched frantically for a replacement for her. Bambi was making her way around, seemingly trying to find a pole to work on, and Carmella grasped the chance. Taking herself off the tiny disk single stage, she tapped the lovely doe eyed red head on the shoulder, who spun around with wide eyes only to smile at the sighting of her friend, "Jesus, you scared me" Without hesitation, Carmella spat out the words, "You take my stage now, I've got a few hundred bills from working there. I got a some hooked, so keep them going. I'll do some private dances now" Bambi seemed slightly confused from the invasion of fast paced words, but nodded in response and quickly rushed to the empty pole before someone snagged it. Carmella swept past and went right for the bar.
Whoever the hell that was, she was going to figure it out. She had to, her brain was telling her to. Seconds passed, heart thumped, and people called for her. She ignored them, denying her 'duty' as a stripper, and continued to press on, money flailing from her silhouette. The bar came closer, and she spotted him only to choke up and lock in her spot. It was him. It was him. Out of all of the people in the world that could be here, in Vegas, in Spearmint Rhino, it was Ashton. She had never scribbled over his name in the depths of her memory, she couldn't, and he continued to live as a guilt trip in her soul and heart. . . and he was fucking right there. Different, yes, more mature and less boyish than she had remembered, but it had been a few years since her last night with him. She was positive it was him, and she couldn't help but stand there was her mouth parted like a vanquilatrist doll in the middle of speaking. The green contacts should've fallen out from how wide her eyes broke open, her knees threatening to buckle, and heart readying it's self destruction. Every little stitch she had sewn in the wounds their relationship had caused were snipped, and she was near collapsing. Carmella was more than aware she must've looked like a retard from the speechless and shocked expression, but it didn't matter, because Ashton was there. In front of her. . . just there.
M U S I C|| The Used O U T F I T|| click! N O T E S|| Doesn't matter with length, what matters is the quality. It was great.
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Post by ASHTON HECOX on Dec 31, 2009 18:10:29 GMT -6
The emerald eyes were occupied by different things, one being the numerous strippers walking past, another being the pretty lights which dazzled his eyes and caused temporary blindness. He checked out his glass at the level of it, he'd want a refill soon, jeez, he wanted a refill now so it didn't seem so empty. He didn't last long looking at his glass before his gaze was taken by some kind of special show. The blonde that he'd seen before was lifting herself up the pole, now that was skill, Ashton couldn't do that in high school, and he sure as hell couldn't do that now.
He watched the positions she twisted into, some would find that kinky, and Ashton was one of them. He smiled at her acrobatic... thingy, he didn't really know what it was called, all bendy and twisty, he knew that much. His eyes followed her as she twirled down the pole. Wow, he thought, he liked her. He cleared his throat, taking another drink of his glass, he finished it quickly and placed it onto the counter of the bar, when he turned around again he saw the girl that had just done that really cool thing on the pole, his eyes met hers. Now he was thinking about Isabelle aswell, so he wasn't gonna cheat, or anything like that, but she was pretty cool. A small smile appeared on his lips, until he noticed she was looking at him funny, his eyes went slightly suspicious then, was he being followed?
He checked around the bar quickly, but no one was looking at him, his eyes slowly moved into slits. He glanced around the other strippers, but they were kind occupied, and the ones that were walking around seemed content with staring at the girls that actually had something to do, like that kind of look that girls sometimes gave each other when they had crossed into each other's territory... oh wait, that was wolves. But anyway, all of them seemed pretty annoyed that they had nothing to do whilst the other girls were busy getting tips. He messed with a strand of hair whilst he was staring around the stage area again, then realized he was thinking about something else before and straightened up in his stool.
He double checked the bar area again, then let his gaze travel back to the blonde, she seemed kinda... He didn't really know, like sick maybe? Maybe she needed fresh air? It was pretty chaotic in here. He moved a hand through his hair, his concerned eyes stayed on her. After a while of asking himself whether he had the guts to just get up and go over there, he got to his feet, glancing to his glass as it was taken away. He slowly walked toward her, stopping a short distance away, he didn't want to seem like he wanted her for a dance or something, he'd be all awkward, not knowing what to do and everything, but he rarely did anything right when he was under pressure anyway.
His eyes met the floor. “Uhm...” He started, then sighed at himself, great start Ashton. “I noticed... uhm.” He felt like face-palming, his eyes moved up to meet hers, he could barely see them in this light though, only the occasional swivelling light made them visible. He decided to start the sentence again, after taking a long pause to get his words right. “I noticed you look kinda... tired?” He couldn't find the right word, the right word was sick, but he didn't want to tell her she looked sick, that was just, well, terrible. His emeralds closed as he brought a hand up to his face, rubbing along his eyelid. He looked around for his watchers again, he was paranoid, yes. Both hands were put into his pockets, he didn't know how to say maybe she could take a break, she looked like she was gonna fall over at any moment. Thing was, if he asked her to go somewhere with him she'd probably think he wanted to rape her in a dark alley.
He sighed, regretting even coming over here, now he looked like someone who wanted to get a cheap lay. He shook his head. “I don't know how to put this without it sounding kinda wrong.” He said over the music. “Maybe you could sort of... take a break, I'll uhm...” His eyes met hers again. “I'll be there aswell if you want someone to talk to, I mean, I have nothing to do.” He moved a hand to his hair again. See, this was how much of a lightweight he was, he felt like he'd had a whole bottle, and because he didn't eat much anyway, it went straight to his brain. Word count//: 806 Outfit//: HereAudio//: It's Not A Fashion Statement, It's A Deathwish - MCR Comments//: Thanks =) Your post made me smile[/size]
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Post by CARMELLA HEART on Dec 31, 2009 18:36:53 GMT -6
Carmella watched as the one person she had ever adored glanced around awkwardly, as if paranoid from being stared at, or confused with her direction of stare. Then again, she was pretty convinced that Ashton hadn't had his fair share of random strippers looking at him with a dumbfounded expression. Her mouth jerked itself closed after a long process of thinking about actually doing it. The dryness consumed her, burning her tongue and throat like acid as she kept her stare steady on him, eyes beginning to reshape. Her heart, however, remained at that breakneck speed, picking up more ground when he finally got up and made his way towards her, only to keep his distance at a few feet.
His words, that voice, it just carried over the music like her own melodic lullaby. It hadn't changed, and every bit of her wanted to quiver as it entered her ears. Though, when she finally decided to understand his words, comprehend them fully, the rapid beating and her utmost joy went up in steel blue flames. He didn't remember her, he didn't. . . remember her? Hurt took it's mercilessly deep stabs at her, until her intelligence rode in on a horse and took it down, filling her with self-hatred. It was because she looked nothing like his memory would've imprinted her as. She was stranger to herself in the mirror, so how could he possibly recognize her? Fuck. The outstanding downfall of her choice to replace her disfigured natural beauty. All she wanted to do now was go running to the bathroom and shred the mask she had created, seeing if she could reveal the face in the old photographs. Of course, that would be impossible.
At a breath taking speed, she swam back to the surface of the situation. He had mentioned her taking a break, and him being there for someone to speak to. Carmella's chance to explain to him who she was. Then again. . . did she really want to expose herself to him again? Her raw sensitive emotions that she had buried away since leaving him? It was her choice to abandon him that night, to take off to rehab. . . never even bothering to contact Ashton as she had a miscarriage with is own children. It was all her choice. . . so what if she did tell him she was really Carmella Heart? Would he leave then? The thoughts and scenarios poured thickly in her head, playing like a nightmare, never turning out the way she wanted them to. It had been two fucking years since she was with him, that meant someone must've scooped him up. Why would he be in Vegas by himself? It didn't make sense. Then again, maybe he was searching for her. . . but that was doubtful. Frustration boiled, peaking to it's high as she settled her nerves to make her capable of forming words, "Uhm. . . well. . I can't really go about in this, if you're talking about outside" She gestured at her figure, really trying to hint that her shreds of fabric weren't the best choice for outdoors at night. "My change is in the backrooms, and I can't really get dressed until the end of my shift" She was forced to raise her glass voice so it could be heard over the tumbles of music. Secretly, Carmella hoped he'd catch a memory from her voice, but at the same time wished to keep it sounding a bit different in tone. She didn't know whether to be Carmella right now, or Isis.
M U S I C|| Asking Alexandria O U T F I T|| click! N O T E S|| Haha, you're post was amazing. I laughed at a few parts in it, and kept smiling the whole time.
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Post by ASHTON HECOX on Dec 31, 2009 19:45:42 GMT -6
Ashton stared at her for moments on end, her voice was what had gotten his attention, he thought he'd heard it before, but where? He had no idea, maybe he was getting her voice mixed up with Isabelle's, or Maria's. He made a concentrated yet confused face and his eyes dropped to the floor, he checked he still had his pocket sized tub of pills, which it turned out he did, he hadn't checked they were there in at least an hour, and he really didn't want to lose them. In case he decided to think too much, yep, he was still on them, even when she'd told him that they weren't doing anything for him.
He poked the small bag of cocaine in his other pocket, buried in between his thigh and a packet of cigarettes. So everything was here, so what was he thinking about before? He stared until he remembered, which took a few long seconds at least. What was her name? He squinted as the light flashed at him, he knew it began with C. Caren? Carrie? Carmen? His eyes widened, it was Carmen! Wait... He stared again, it was a nice name, and he'd always liked it, yet he couldn't remember it. His memory was pretty bad, he wouldn't be surprised if he had premature dementia.
Caramel, that reminded him of her name, because he liked both caramel and Carm... Carmella? A wide smile formed on his lips. “Carmella, her name was Carmella.” He said at normal volume, which would have been quiet with how loud the music was. He then realized he'd said it out loud and clamped his hand over his mouth. He pulled it away to speak. “Sorry, I went into my dream world there.” He laughed lightly, his eyes meeting hers again, wait, her voice was kinda like Carmella's, yet she looked nothing like her. He shook his head, it was stupid to think that she was Carmella, he was just jumping to conclusions, just because she sounded kinda like her that didn't mean that she was her, he was just being stupid.
He smiled at himself, then remembered she'd been on another subject before and bit his lower lip. “But you're allowed to go somewhere quieter? You think they'd let you have a break, I think you look like you need it.” He sighed straight after saying that, oh great, insult her on the first impression, then she'd really like him. Right now he wasn't cheating, he was telling himself that, she just looked really... that word that wouldn't come to his mind again, she looked kinda... zombie-like, he felt sorry for strippers actually, it must be hard work, and because she'd just clambered up that metal pole, that must have took a lot of energy out of her.
He didn't want her to faint, or anything, he hated fainting, at times it was embarrassing, because he'd usually just faint without warning, but other times it just got annoying, he fainted really easily, too easily. He moved slightly closer in case she decided she'd had enough of consciousness and made a bid for Nod Land. He smiled reassuringly. “Well, maybe there is somewhere we could go that's quieter, the music's a bit loud for me, gives me headaches.” He explained, glancing to his left pocket, the one that held his pills, he'd be ready with them if he felt the headache coming. “I was planning on going somewhere more quiet anyway, I really can't stand headaches.” He rubbed his eyes as if one was coming already. “Oh, I forgot to say, I'm Ashton.” He introduced himself, putting his hand out, then dropping it straight after, how did people in Las Vegas greet? Probably a “hi” and a nod of the head, either that or they didn't greet, just flung into bed with each other. It was strange how different everyone was here, no one had a care in the world, or so it seemed. Word count//: 672 Outfit//: HereAudio//: Sound Effects And Overdramatics – The Used Comments//: ^_^[/size]
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Post by CARMELLA HEART on Dec 31, 2009 22:19:30 GMT -6
Awkwardly, she stood there as he played a silent spell over them, the music being the only real intense source of sound in the blank moment. He just stared at her, and Carmella figited with her money, collecting it from her attire to attempt to avoid radiating with her nervousness. That question still remained. Was she going to be herself or Isis, he had to get a name eventually, right?
A bundle of money was crushed in her right hand, her count was five hundred, but she couldn't be quite too sure until she sat down at the kitchen table and individually counted it. The lighting toyed with her sight, but she caught the murmurs from the movement his mouth made. Was that. . did he. .? No, he wouldn't say her name? Would he? Panic rose up and she kept still, until he reacted in a way that announced that he still hadn't figured out who she was. His hand cupping over his mouth as if saying a sin, and as he took it away, he apologized for being in a dream state of mind. A heated flush painted her cheeks with a light lick, so that meant he was thinking about her. Heh, then again, strip clubs were a wonderful way to remember her by.
The teasing little hormones that bubbled up over her were ignited fully as he bit his bottom lip, her eyes directing themselves there. If only she would forget how unbelievably suave his lip's motions were against her own, what girl that was ever with him could though? It was like a signature for him, except he didn't realize it. It was tempting to just snag him by the Metallica hoody's collar, and drag him to the strippers' changing room, make his memory go in an over drive. She wouldn't though, that was something that was totally off bounds at this moment.
Ashton's words came out in care winged butterflies, btu she had to remind herself that he was unaware that she was Carmella Heart. That was something she would never forget about him, he had always been so stupidly worried about the health of others. She had no idea why, but he was always like that. Stripper or not, he was concerned about how your health was. Her eyes caught his motion forward, and ears heard the guitar play after a model's smile, "Well, maybe there is somewhere we could go that's quieter, the music's a bit loud for me, gives me headaches" So he wanted to go somewhere quieter, eh? Which meant something to a stripper. Poor Ashton, he still didn't understand the language in which skanks spoke in. Translated to a stranger in this club, he would have really been saying: "I need a lap dance since I'm horny, because my jackass of a wife/girlfriend won't fuck me anymore" A weak smile curled her lips for a single moment, then more words streamed out.
Her left eyebrow raised, almost questioning his 'original plans' to go somewhere quieter. If he wanted to be somewhere quiet, why would he even have entered such a sweat filled, music blasting, chick infested place? Such a man's sentence, and it made her almost laugh. A smirk sketched up on her fine face, being erased by the artist himself from his introduction. She glanced down at his hand until he retreated it, looking a bit lost to what he should do. Under thick lashes, she stared at him. Now was the time to choose either Carmella, or Isis. Beating down the violent shreds from her heart, she coughed up the words in a elegant pure tone, "I'm Isis" She let another smile cross her face, facading her actual broken down internal insides, "And if you actually want to be in a quiet place, it's either you pay a hundred for a private, V.I.P lap dance, from moi. Or," she acted hesitant, playing her role as being a high-class strip bitch. Leaning in towards him just a bit, she lowered her voice so it could only be carried to him. Those deep forest eyes trying to trap her, "I can attempt to get you down to the strip room. . where us girl's change" Her role was easy, because she had played it for far too long. Plus, he wouldn't see a Carmella in this act. Maybe. . dare even mention the name. . Chance would see her when she spoke like that. Not Ashton. . Ashton was always the victim of Carmella's weak, brittle part.
Pulling herself back and straightening out, she nodded briskly towards him, "So what's it gonna be? Are you gonna be a big spender? Or are you gonna be risky?" Her tone was uplifted and rang like a girl with the utmost confidence and pride, teasing someone that she saw lower than herself.
M U S I C|| N/A O U T F I T|| click! N O T E S|| N/A
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Post by ASHTON HECOX on Jan 1, 2010 8:44:57 GMT -6
Ashton smiled at her angelic tone as she said her name, he could help but think afterwards “Wow, what a name!”, it was pretty, he liked it, yet he wondered if it was her real name, and not just a stripper name. Oh well, he'd call her Isis anyway, it was cool to say. “Isis.” He smiled widely, saying it for the initial fact that he'd said it. He kept his eyes on her as she spoke again, completely silent until she'd finished.
Now his initial thoughts of it being Carmella had gone, as soon as he noticed her breasts, he wasn't being much of a perv, well, maybe. They were bigger than Carmella's, from what he remembered. He tried not to stare at them, but it was petty hard not to, considering what she was wearing anyway. He was more a perv of the money which was resting on one of her hands, now that was a lot of money. He was allowed to stare at that, right? He blinked a couple of times, he knew she'd take it the wrong way, the knowing smirk she'd given before he introduced himself had pretty much given it away.
He smiled. “I don't have all that much money.” He made a guilty face. If only, he thought, his mouth slowly moved into the gaping position, then closed again. He glanced down to his crotch. Don't get a boner, don't get a boner. “I guess I'd choose the risky one.” His eyes moved back up to hers, but they made a couple of stops along the way. A look came onto his face, the kind of look that a child would use after being caught stealing the last cookie from the jar. Those two words kept repeating in his mind, if only, if only, if only – yet he knew he'd be awkward as hell in there with her, not knowing what to do, or more importantly, where to put his hands whilst it was all happening.
But yeah, she did look amazing, money in hand, and that tiny little bra and underwear combo, it reminded him of a swimsuit you'd see on a model. He felt slightly shy now, all he'd looked at before was her face - also amazing – and her eyes, miraculously, he'd not really noticed the body she had. He smiled at his thoughts, some strippers looked like everything a guy wanted, yet some of them had terrible personalities. To tell the truth Ashton liked looks and personality pretty much the same, though he didn't believe in that theory that looks didn't matter when it came to love, because they did, he could tell the person that invented that theory right now that he'd never love an obese straggly-haired old woman with too many warts on her large nose, that was for sure.
“How're you gonna get me into there? And anyway, I'm not gonna cause trouble.” His eyes shifted over to the bar again, so maybe he knew he had no watchers by this point, but he wasn't quite sure, it was Vegas after all. He wondered how many of these guys in here were actually working here, he couldn't tell, what he could tell was that there wasn't any girls in here, other than the ones dragged along by their husbands/boyfriends, and what looked like lesbians. His eyes travelled along the different faces, and figures. Some guys were pretty dressed up, others seemed casual, like himself, he didn't have any “dressy” clothes.
He looked back to her, jeez, anyone would be lucky to get a lap dance from her, those sexy curves, not to mention the size of those... He looked down to his crotch again, making a slightly scared face whilst he thought about other things. Old women, old women, old man with a limp and walking stick. His eyes closed tightly, he didn't want embarrassment, yet it seemed a bit late for that. His eyes moved anywhere but her, he wanted some more of that Jack Daniels, he should think about Jack Daniels to clear his mind of thoughts of her body. Okay, he admitted it, he could be a perv, but what guy couldn't? Word count//: 708Outfit//: HereAudio//: Flight On Broken Wings - Eyes Set To Kill Comments//: Nope[/size]
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Post by CARMELLA HEART on Jan 2, 2010 2:17:10 GMT -6
She couldn't help but to notice his eyes examining her figure, her new curves that were created from silicone and some nips and tucks. It made a faint smile touch her lips, at least he seemed to be impressed with what the doctor had stitched together. Her stance changed as he mentioned taking the 'risky' choice, her one leg lowering and knee bending slightly as she leaned to the side as if he was a waste of her time. However, it made her hip jet out, defining her slim shape even more so. It was the oldest trick in the book for strippers. She made a combination of this, and a tiny pouty face, like a small girl being rejected from a hug, letting a glint of disappointment shade her thick lashed eyes.
Hand on the hip which popped like a cheap model's signature pose, she eyed him, taking in his solid frame as if it was her first time seeing it. She already knew what lurked underneath the fabric he wore, but then again, he seemed less like a boy now. . maybe he was more like Chance in the physical part. The thought made her body break into a frenzy of heat, what girl didn't want that? Her dazzling body glitter shimmered as she straightened out and stepped a bit closer to him, his words spilling out. A suave smile crossed her, her hand resting on his shoulder for a the few seconds it took to speak, "Sometimes girls can bring their 'boyfriend' back there" A girlish laugh lifted into the space between them, light but angelic. Her eyes focused back on his, that damn affect they always had her trying to set in, "So, why don't we just pretend that we're dating? It's not difficult to do, all you have to do is play the part correctly. I'm already good at acting, but are you?" Her lips barely moved, but her voice was clear over the music. Considering she was less than two feet away, she didn't need to raise it that much.
Slipping her hand off his shoulder, she let it weave down his arm, finger tips kissing the little edges and the stone that it was chisled from. Her eyes peeked down to it, she hadn't remembered it being so stiff, that was something new and improved about him. Biting her bottom lip, she contained the drool that could've just smeared down on her delicate face. Damnit, Ashton was already gorgeous from the first time she met him, but now he was just beyond words. Flicking her sights back up to him, she kept her hand resting on the side of his forearm, "You just have to act like you would with your actual girlfriend, you know, the one you ditched for the night to come here?" Her tone was humored, not hinting an attack at all.
Still playing the part of being that eager Stripper, she didn't wait for a response at all, just gripped the arm she had once been so gentle with, and tugged him along behind her as she trailed through the crowd. Weaving through as if she was able to predict each and every individual movement the people made, she found her way to the backrooms. The door shut, and a bouncer infront of it, arms folded and eyes meeting hers harshly. His eyebrow lifted, taking in the figure that was behind her, of course he was suspicious. Twirling around, she stared at Ashton intensely, her hand freeing him, "He's going to ask some dick questions, so be prepared, because they'll all be aimed at you" She glanced over her shoulder, biting her lip once more before turning her attention back to Ashton, giving a dark smile, "Actually, maybe you should go talk with him. Ya'know, like. . . do the whole 'guy bond' thing, so he believes you're dating me. He isn't going to believe me if I were to say we're dating, because this one's a douche to all the girl's in here, unless they suck his dick" She peered up to him innocently, hoping he'd do it. Nothing she had said was a thread from a lie, it was true, and she needed her time alone with him. Carmella wanted to get some information on him, like, why he was here in Vegas, and other little things like that. With a tiny, pleading tone, she spoke once more, "Please?"
M U S I C|| Asking Alexandria O U T F I T|| click! N O T E S|| N/A
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Post by ASHTON HECOX on Jan 2, 2010 16:00:01 GMT -6
Ashton's lips upturned into a smile, but dropped it quickly, he couldn't help it really, when girls made that position with their body, one hip lower than the other, it made Ashton smile again at the thought of it. He almost blushed at her comment about boyfriends, so if he was her boyfriend then he'd be allowed in there eh? He hesitantly moved a hand to his hair again. “It depends on the situation.” His voice seemed excited, but obviously, Isis was pretty much allowing him to act like her boyfriend, obviously he'd be excited about that, if not kinda turned on.
He wondered if all girls were like this in Vegas, so eager to go somewhere with a complete stranger. His teeth scraped along his bottom lip again. He froze when he felt her touch on his shoulder, wandering down to his bicep. Smiling at her expression, it wasn't that good, was it? Ah well, the female species were strange about stuff like that, really, his arm muscles weren't that big – now he'd understand if he was some kind of body builder; sadly, he wasn't. His eyes flicked to the floor as she mentioned Isabelle.
How'd she know about him seeing someone? His eyes stared into hers whilst he thought, she could be joking, considering the tone she'd used. He laughed lightly. “Yeah... I guess so.” His voice was different than his laugh, almost awkward, because there was someone back home, not really home, but in the apartments he was staying at, she seemed fine with him coming here again though, she'd said she was okay with it, that was good enough for him.
He almost yelped as she grabbed his arm suddenly and pulled him over to what looked to be the door which must have led to the changing rooms, yet there was a guy in front of it. Ashton had decided that he didn't like bouncers, they were usually horrible, not like the ones at Halton City at all, these ones had more attitude to them. Nervousness set in and he rubbed his eyes for a long moment, pulling his hands away from his optics as Isis spoke again. “What?” His smile was back. “He's gonna ask awkward questions, or he's gonna ask questions about my dick?” His eyes widened jokingly, although he really didn't know.
His smile dispersed yet again, he felt like the cheshire cat in a way, grinning stupidly at anything she said, he couldn't help if he had a small crush, she was like... wow. He couldn't actually look at her without his eyes getting stuck; maybe it was the make-up she wore, or the soft looking lips, it could have easily been the glitter which was scattered around her body to draw eyes more, or just because of her attitude with him. One thing that did catch his eye was her eyelashes, obviously fake, but very beautiful. He rolled his eyes at himself, he had Isabelle, he had to remember that, so he wouldn't go doing anything stupid.
“I'm not particularly good with the whole 'guy bond' thing.” He spoke gently, shaking his head. His eyes became undecisive as she pleaded with him. He was reminded of when Carmella had been 'pleading' for him to have sex with her, though it didn't take much persuasiveness on her part, Ashton was obviously going to do it with her with or without a condom. A bit late now, she was probably living her own life, having completely forgotten about him, either that or living a life in rehab still. He hoped it was the first option, and that now she was taking care of herself, if only (those two words again) he could just see her for like five minutes, then he'd be fine, his worries would be taken care of.
“Okay, I will.” He smiled reassuringly, he wouldn't say no, considering she seemed like she really wanted him to do it. His smile didn't leave as he glanced to the bouncer absent-mindedly. He closed the distance between him and Isis, his body gently pressing against hers, he felt like he had to make it seem like they were seeing each other, if they kept a distance it looked kind of fake, he just took her advice and pretended she was Isabelle, so he wouldn't seem nervous, or shy around her. One of his hands rested just above her hip. He gave her a look, kinda asking her if she was fine with him doing it, but also that loving look, so anyone watching could see he was in love with her. It was the same look he gave Isabelle, and had given Carmella. He thought he was pretty convincing, yet he could just look like he wanted a lap dance and was trying to get it for free here.
He shifted her hair away from her neck and shoulder, then his free hand found hers, entwining their fingers, it did feel a bit strange for him, but he wanted to get into that changing room; not for pervy reasons either. He guessed he could tell she wanted to get him in there, so he was kinda going along with the idea that she wanted time alone with him, so he'd try and get them alone, this seemed the only way, to be a good actor anyway. He leaned down and let his lips softly touch her shoulder, they caressed along the soft skin of her neck before pulling away as her ear started. He blushed faintly and let go of her hand, putting both hands in his hoody pockets; his eyes meeting the bouncer again, he looked at him like he'd not seen him before. He smiled and let go of Isis, making his way over, he stopped a distance away, in case he said the wrong thing and the bouncer decided to attack. “Hi, I'm Ashton.” He nodded, glancing over to Isis, his eyes said: help! But they didn't stay long on her before moving back to the bouncer.
“I see you're a bouncer, cool.” He sighed, awkwardly staring at the floor, how could he have started worse? Well, he guessed he could have done, like he had with Isis. There was a long silence before his voice sounded again. “So... uhm... how long've you been working here?” He asked, he knew the guy'd probably think he was a low life who wanted friends, but he had no idea how to say it to a stranger, he would boast, if he knew how to properly, he didn't listen to Chance when he did, so he wasn't quite well-up on that section. Word count//: 1105Outfit//: HereAudio//: The loud computer fan Comments//: P:[/size]
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Post by CARMELLA HEART on Jan 2, 2010 17:14:04 GMT -6
The moments ticked by, but her childish plead seemed to convince him to do what she had already planned for him. Big mistake on her part, considering what unfurled after he agreed. She never completely thought it over, and she didn't expect Ashton to be so forward with the acting she had mentioned. Their bodies just barely touching, her heart already going in hyper mode before his hand rested on her hip, a look of reassurance from her crossing his eyes, but flaring with that same look she had been incarcerated in so long ago. Tears threatened to weld up as memories blurred like old, burnt, and destroyed polaroids, hands connecting and making the sense so much stronger for her. It was difficult to play as Isis now, and even more focus had to go in keeping her emotions in check. He was torturing her without even knowing it. When his hand brushed her hair away from the smooth textured neck and shoulder, she could've blacked out right at the spot. Lips exploring the land she was made of, her eyes closing tentatively, a breath escaping from her lungs. God damnit, she was doing a horrible acting job now, then again, strippers were supposed to pretend, right? Hopefully he'd think that she was just playing the girlfriend part correctly. Then it was over, and he tucked his hands away to the caverns of his pockets. Too soon. . too soon for Carmella, but too much for Isis. He was breaking down the barrier the stripper alias held, and slowly was exposing the faint female he had once knew.
Leaving her, she watched as he made his way to the bouncer, who seemed totally disgusted at the affectionate display that had just occurred before him. She trembled with a rawness too much for her, biting her lip to stitch herself together before she exploded into the brittle girl she was right then. Eyes glossed over to a wetness, as if fountains had rained over her. She held them back though, fighting the war that had begun within her. 'Keep steady, not yet, you're not Carmella yet' her mind cooed to her in a lullaby as she watched the desperate expression that Ashton shot at her over his shoulder. Oh fuck, he was screwed over already. All she could do was watch as the bouncer remained in silence, eying Ashton as if he was from a distant planet. Of course he wasn't going to talk to him, since Ashton was the stereotypical example of what mr.big armed thought was a fag. Yeah, homophobics were common in this department. Again, she was ready to kick herself in the ass for being so unclear with her thoughts. She was getting to greedy, she wanted to be alone with him and the chances were slim now.
Drawing in a breath, she swayed her hips lightly as she nearly floated towards them. Her movements like water in a man-made river, eyes twinkling from the aggressive tears that still were trying to pour. Her side was like the touch of whiskers against Ashton's, only a tiny space parting them. She didn't want to touch him, or have him touch her for a better explanation. It was easier to consume her desire when it was by her own choice, but when Ashton did it, that was a whole different story. Peeking over to Ashton for a sleek moment, she directed her eyes back to the bouncer. Even in her heels, he was just as tall as her, which meant that he was around the same height as Ashton, except rippling with muscle that seemed to expand his skin. Clearing her throat quietly, her lips parted, "Sorry bout' that, hun, but I'm in a really horrible emotional state right now, and I asked. . Ashton. . to come over here and try to talk to you for me. I didn't want to burst into tears in front of someone like you, that would be embarrassing" She looked down like she had done a sin, crossing her arms loosely, so only the wrists met at her belly button. Carmella had to find an excuse to cry, and this was it, so she used it. Damn, Ashton was going to think she was either a fucking good performing when it came to faking it, or that she was a total emotional nut, either way, it didn't matter; she was going to cry.
The water trickled down her face, streaming across her cheekbones, and collecting on the floor as she glanced back up to the bouncer, "My mother died this evening, and I didn't find out until now. . ." She took in a soft breath, the tears eating at her skin, "Can we please go in there so I don't cause a scene even more than I am already? Ashton is just coming in for the comfort factor" she spun her wheel of lies to cover the reality of the situation that roared inside her. However, the bouncer wasn't about to deal with a distraught stripper with her obscene looking 'boyfriend' by her side. Stepping aside, he nodded towards the door briskly, warning them to hurry the fuck up. Drawing her hand across her face, she attempted to wipe away the acidic droplets, only to fail. Taking Ashton's hand in a absent-minded state, she drew him in the door's open mouth, letting him free as soon as the door slammed shut behind them.
The hall was narrow and a crimson red, low-lit lights beaming on the edges of it, as the floor was coated in a rough black carpeting. She moved hastily, tossing the bundle of money to the side as she moved to the black door in which was marked EMPLOYEES ONLY. Almost ripping the handle off, she opened it, slipping through the tiny gap she had created. She shouldn't have started the tear-fest that had developed earlier, because now it wouldn't stop. Ashton didn't need to find out why either, and hiding away in the wardrobe infested room was her only escape for a split second.
M U S I C|| Beyonce- Halo (repeatedly played) O U T F I T|| click! N O T E S|| Ashton was failing at his attempt, she could already tell Girls tend to get their way more often anyways.
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Post by ASHTON HECOX on Jan 2, 2010 18:42:24 GMT -6
Ashton's eyes became slightly wide as Isis had a small tear trickle down her cheek. He didn't know she was that good of an actor, until she told the bouncer the reason why she'd gotten emotional, he guessed most strippers were good at acting, because they had to act like the perfect woman. The thing was, Isis was obviously not acting, Ashton could tell those tears were real. His expression showed sorrow, but relief as he was led into the corridor. Her walk seemed hurried and he could tell she was upset. A sigh escaped his lips as she disappeared into one of the rooms, leaving him in the fancy warm coloured corridor.
He hesitantly made his way along the corridor, his walk was slow, with every step wondering if she wanted him to be there with her. Well, she had said she wanted him there for comfort to the bouncer guy, who didn't seem impressed with Ashton. His soft emeralds were on the door she'd hid herself behind. He read the writing on the door whilst wondering when he was gonna be brave enough to open the door, if he was even wanted in there, he probably was, after all, she had said so.
He dug into his pocket, taking out the tiny little casket which held his white jewels, having one fall into his hand, he smiled at it like it was his new best friend. It was around time for a pill anyway, or so his body told him, either that or a cigarette, most likely a pill though, he felt a little thoughtful anyway. He kept thinking about Isis, about her mom dying, he'd hate if his mom died, even if he barely saw her and she annoyed the crap out of him, he'd still care if she passed. The beloved pill was gone as soon as it had been singled out from the others, and the tub stuffed back into his pocket, then continued the staring, the least he could do was give it a try.
The handle was slowly pushed down and Ashton slunk slowly in the room, his eyes stuck to the blonde. He made more hesitant steps toward her, stopping when he was only just not touching, another inch and he would though. He stood there awkwardly for a long second, his eyes touching different wardrobes in the room. His arms found their way around her waist, hugging her gently, but closely. “I'm sorry about your mom, Isis.” He said in a whisper, stroking her hair, he stopped when he realized he didn't know her, she was pretty much a stranger to him, why would she want him here to comfort her?
Well, it was Vegas after all. “Do you want to talk about it? If not it's fine.” He tried looking into her eyes, yet it seemed impossible at the moment. He sighed, that want for a line, he remembered when he'd done them with Carmella, that night that she'd left. His heart sank at thoughts of that night, waiting for her to get back from the shower, yet she didn't come back, he ended up leaving, and being told she'd gone to rehab, by his brother's sister, Tamora, he could only just remember her name. He used to think she was so cool, yet he didn't talk to her anymore, without Carmella involved he thought there wasn't much of a relationship between them both as friends, or even siblings. Tamora must have thought the same way, they'd just kind of drifted apart.
He then began wondering, did Tamora know where Carmella was right now? He didn't have a clue, but she probably did, yet she wouldn't want him barging into her life again asking where Carmella was. He wondered where even she was; he didn't reach too much into it though, Isis needed comforting. His hands ran over her back softly, hopefully trying to stop her crying, that might work, or maybe not, he wasn't sure. Word count//: The devil's number :POutfit//: HereAudio//: Scream – Avenged Sevenfold Comments//: Yeah, I thought so, I just knew he'd fail miserably XD[/size]
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Post by CARMELLA HEART on Jan 2, 2010 19:20:08 GMT -6
For fuck sakes, he was making it worse. His touch, his hold, the warmth that leaked from his body against hers, the scent that dripped deep into her nostrils, waving around her insides and sparking even more pain. She wanted to pull away from him, but refused to do so because of fear of shattering without his hold. He arms shielded herself, pressing up against his chest, his voice like a lullaby to her detiorating state. She couldn't help but laugh miserably at the first sentence. Her mom had died a while back now, she was over her loss, and attended the funeral. Did everything that you do when someone dies. But with the relationship Ashton and her had once bloomed together, she just snipped it by the stem and threw it away. There was no proper burial, she wasn't over it at all. She wanted that beauty in her life, coloring her days with something to have and to admire.
His hand wafted over the top of her hair, the touch so unbelievably soothing to the plastic girl. Although she was hardly made from anything natural anymore, she could still feel. His offer stood still in the air, as he attempted to catch a glimpse of the wounded eyes she held. Silence pondered about around them as his hands ran along her back, skin on skin, making her senses explode like fireworks. Her head burrowed in his chest, not caring anymore to what puppet she danced as, she just wanted to know that he was actually there. This wasn't a figure of her imagination, this was real.
She departed from his hold, taking a few back steps to stumble upon a simple chair, her body collapsing into it as she rested her heels and spine. Eyes kept on him, make-up smeared about her cheek bones, a weak smile crossing her lips as she examined him, before a huff of submission to the confrontation that was bound to be ahead. Her fingers collided together, forming a loose ball as she rested it on her left leg, her eyes falling to his feet, "My mom died a while ago. ." her words were barely above a whisper, turning into the tune of her regular voice, "And I bet you already know that Isis is just my stripper name" Sucking a well-needed breath, she let her hands break from each other and touch her eyes, the contacts sticking to the tips of her fingers and exposing the sapphire blues that were buried beneath. She remained staring at his feet though, still terrified of speaking the next few words. She stumbled over them a few times in her head before the fell out of her lips, "My real name is. . ." Her lips upturned, tears welding again as she peered up to him beneath the false lashes, "Ashton, it's me. . Carmella" Her voice broke at the end, as she let the contacts fall to the ground, her body quivering almost violently as she wrapped herself with her arms, eyes taking themselves away from him before she could see his reaction, "I know. .I know you must be. . .m-mad at me. I get that . . . I just. .I just. . I don't know what I was thinking. . so much happened," her eyes were covered now by her lids, eyebrows narrowing down in frustration as she tried to spit out the words needed before he left, "I got all this surgery done, and I wanted to try to be this. .this whole new person. Rehab did so much. . . good for me. . . and so. . oh god. . there was so much damage brought from it" Her grip tightened over her stomach, thoughts of the little beings that once lived there, in her womb. Carmella's body continued to shake, her lips slipping out two more delicate words, "I'm sorry. ."
M U S I C|| Asking Alexandria O U T F I T|| click! N O T E S|| D:
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Post by ASHTON HECOX on Jan 3, 2010 8:26:59 GMT -6
Ashton was frozen, her confession had obviously shocked him, yet he couldn't believe it, not that he could but didn't want to, he generally just couldn't believe it. He needed to hold onto something, for support so he wouldn't crumble and fall to his knees. “C-... Carmella...?” He managed to say, tripping up over his words as she had done. He watched as her body quivered, he only saw Isis, but those blues... He wanted to get a closer look at them, and see for himself.
Slowly allowing his feet to move, he struggled over to her slowly, kneeling down on the floor, he couldn't stand up anymore, that seemed too energy draining. His heart strings were plucked like the fragile strings on a violin as her refined voice met his ears. He couldn't speak, let alone tell her it was fine. His eyes decided to move down to her stilettos, was this just some cruel joke made with the help of Jack Daniels? It couldn't have been; for one, Ashton hadn't said Carmella's name since she'd left, he'd thought about her and she, yes, but not Carmella, he hadn't thought about Carmella, saving himself the heartache of thinking her name.
His facial expression didn't change from being a slightly wide-eyed blank look, whilst staring at her stilettos. His eyes slowly moved upwards, over the body of a goddess. A jagged breath broke free from his lips, those eyes, he'd caught full sight of them eventually; he felt that Carmella's eyes had been stolen, and given to this beauty, but they couldn't have done, she was Carmella.
His heart was beating heavily, closing his eyes tightly, he shook his head slowly, any quicker and he'd lose the little balance he already had. His eyes opened on her stomach, where her arms were almost protecting by how tight they were. He didn't ask though. He was secretly pleading to himself that if this was a dream he'd better wake up right now, he'd had enough of these nightmares, he'd see Carmella again, but she wasn't like this, she left him before he could even touch her, as loud as he'd shouted her, she just ignored him.
He reached out a hand, which was shaking, obviously. His skin made contact with the soft skin of her leg, the touch was soothing for him, he just didn't believe she was there, and she wouldn't disappear when he began believing it was actually her. His hand didn't stay there for very long and he sat up slowly onto his knee-caps and shins, making himself taller so he could reach her more. His adventurous touch moved along one of her arms, which still protected her stomach, yet again, he didn't ask; most of the reason being he couldn't talk anyway, he felt like he'd been knocked off balance in mid air, lost all sense of direction, which way was up and down, he'd end up landing flat on his face, he just knew it, he'd wake up in a bed and realize it was all just a dream.
He hand didn't stop until it met her cheek, having travelled along her up and up her neck, she was still here, he didn't feel like he was dreaming, he felt like he'd had a bottle of Jack Daniels and was on the verge of a mini heart attack. “Don't... say sorry.” He spoke, he couldn't believe he had, but the instinct to cry was making its way up his chest and he'd gotten that burn in his throat because of holding it back. He shushed her gently. “I just... can't believe it's you, Carmella.” As soon as her name was uttered his voice broke and eyes were closed tightly, two thin tears making an appearance down each cheek.
They were wiped quickly though, more threatened to spill though, they attacked at his eyes, making him have to close them again. He rid himself of the Metallica hoody, that was dropped onto the floor next to him, he smoothed down his top afterwards, as hoodies always seemed to stick to t-shirts, they always tried making a break for freedom partnered to the hoody. Carmella was like the hoody, she had to leave, and Ashton had to stay, he'd accepted that bit, but why was she in Vegas? That explained why he hadn't seen her around Halton City again, on those early morning walks with Jagged like he'd hoped. He finally looked up from staring at the his t-shirt and the hoody, him and Carmella, that stupid representation of both of them in his head.
“You look so... different.” The next time he'd spoke, his voice had recovered slightly from the tears, yet they were still there, at least he could actually talk without his voice breaking at any moment. He stared at her tattoo, looking up to her eyes. “I'm sorry... for fainting on you.” His eyes shifted downwards, he knew the reason she'd left, to go to rehab, but the reason she'd left without saying he'd worked out was that he'd fainted on her, it was his fault after all, although it was years ago. “I'm sorry for everything I've done to... hurt you, I guess, it made you leave, and I've wanted to say sorry for a long time.” He closed his eyes again, his body was still shaking with each movement, but his voice had mostly recovered, maybe because he'd been forcing himself not to cry. He still wondered why she seemed protective of her stomach, she hadn't been before, but she was probably just resting her arms there, out of reach of him. “I could never be mad at you, Car...” He sighed, he couldn't say her name in front of her, it hurt too much, not that he was hurting a lot already. Word count//: 971Outfit//: HereAudio//: The Bird And The Worm – The Used Comments//: DX[/size]
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Post by CARMELLA HEART on Jan 3, 2010 13:50:45 GMT -6
Each intricate touch from his hand seemed to be a slap in the back, making her breaths short and heart quickened, while her eyes became more flooded. She kept her colored lids shut, masking the waterfall that rushed on behind them, seeping through the cracks and committing suicide off the lashes and to the her thighs. Her body still in it's own earthquake, his voice was just a murmuring thunder in the distance. Registering his words was almost impossible, because the denial of him still being there kept filling her guts. Why would he remain?
He was there though, because the emotion in his voice was too thick to have been made up by her own imagination. Except it was a sorrow rather than a fury, as she had expected to arrive fully armed with anger and rage. "I'm sorry for everything I've done to... hurt you, I guess, it made you leave, and I've wanted to say sorry for a long time" The sentence drilled hard to her core, nail itself a portrait on the surface of her memory. Why was he blaming himself? A fuse was hit, and gasoline threatened to ignite the flame of aggravation that hissed at the back of her throat. Why the fuck did he blame himself? Why would she want to leave him over something so simple? She'd been more damaged before meeting him, he actually rescued her from it, so how could he say that he hurt her?
His final words guided the gasoline to that tiny flame, allowing them to meet and burn up her esophagus, her eyes revealing themselves again as she ventured into his, "How can you even say that?" Her tone was a double bladed sword, sharp and clear, "You think I left because of you fainting?" A smirk from the stupid reasoning he had made crossed as she shook her head in rejection of the idea, "I left because I wanted to get better, I realized what I was doing. I was destroying you, so then I wouldn't have to get repaired" Her arms lifted from her stomach, hands placing themselves on either of his cheeks, the sapphires turning liquid like the carribean sea. Tears had halted to allow her to speak without tripping over her own words, but their mark had been made on her face, "I left to go to rehab. I'm clean now, I have been for over a year now. I came to Vegas because. ." She broke off, the venom dripping down inside her. There were a few reasons to why she had left Halton for Vegas, but the main reason was going to smack them both in the face. Gaining back her strength she had just succumbed to, she voiced it lightly, "I didn't come back to Halton because I wanted to avoid telling you that me getting better. . . my own withdrawals. . . caused me to have a miscarriage." Carmella's hands let his face free, only to curl back around her stomach, trying to replace the emptiness that resided there. More tears washed up to the shore of her eyes, but she fought them, trying to keep her calm at the moment she felt the worse.
The memories, however, still took their announcement to the front of her mind's stage. Her eyes misting over as they played. She would never be able to wipe away that short event: her body hovering over a porcelain white toilet, the smell of it being to clean distinct to her senses. Or maybe it was just clean like it should be, she couldn't tell. The vomit that tackled her mouth from her stomachs rejection, only to become a friend of the toilet's water. Another heave, and the pain fired like a cannon ball in the core of her lower body. All she could do at that moment was gasp and fall back, her head slamming against the bleached tile, a ache spiking from the back to the front instantly. Hands met where the twins slept, her eyes impaled by tears of agony and the glowing halo from the lights above. She wasn't even aware that blood was seeping through her stone washed jeans, her senses at the time were at a critical low, the only thing that was still towering was the sensitivity to pain and the reign of nausea. One of her roommates, the name which was cleared from her memory, came in to find Carmella. It was around dinner time, and the staff had to regularly drag her down to the cafeteria to eat, or force-feed her through a tube. Lately, she had become aggressive towards them, and the only person to ever convince her to go down and try to digest something was that particular roommate. The poor Hispanic sweetheart nearly bellowed when she discovered Carmella. She could've assumed that the disoriented blond was on her rag and forgot about it, but she was aware of her pregnancy and had suffered a miscarriage herself. Thank god she had found her, because if she didn't, Carmella could have died from internal bleeding. The hospital explained everything when she had woken the morning after, sore and still half-asleep from the anesthesia.
The play-back ended, leaving Carmella in a pit of blackness in the theater of her mind. Lids fell over like curtains before they could focus back to Ashton, she couldn't imagine what he was thinking.
M U S I C|| TV downstairs O U T F I T|| click! N O T E S|| D:
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